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Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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My mum and my little sister is having a difficult time together. It's partly caused by her new husband, partly because she has a kind of mental illness/heavy depression and I have no idea how I could help her because she rejects all the help. She believes I'm her enemy and that actually everyone is her enemy who just dares to give her some advice. But I just can't stand how horrible she treats my sister. Fortunately she doesn't beat her but shouts all the time for every little cases, have no patience for raising that child and ofter she says VERY ugly things to her. I have to listen to it every single day. I don't want that my little sister also become a nervous wreck. Neither that my mum would be unhappy for all her entire life. I really want to help them, but as I said, my mum refuses all help and also shouts at me, and I really can't(and mustn't) force her to accept my help. All I can do is that I meditate and pray both for them. I would be really grateful if you also joined in this meditation to me and keep them in your thoughts even if only for a few moments.

Posted on: 2013/4/10 10:40
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
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I would start by telling your mom you love her every chance you get. I would also visualize her being surrounded in love and light everyday.

Posted on: 2013/4/10 10:46
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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Thank you! I make her feel that I love her - I often hug her and say nice words to her. The idea of visualisation sounds good, I do some similar, but I will try also this one! :)

Posted on: 2013/4/10 10:55
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
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Sometimes just telling someone you love them can make all the difference in the world. All the best to you and your family.


Posted on: 2013/4/10 18:48
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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Don't give up hope on her. People can change. I'm not sure on what else you could do from my point of view. Just keep showing her how much you care about her, and hopefully she will come around. You could try talking to other people she knows. If she knows someone well enough that she trusts them a lot, maybe talking to them for help will be what she needs. In any case, I will keep you and your family in my thoughts, prayers, and meditations.

I know what it's like to have a troubled family. My family was pretty happy for many years, but then my father decided to be foolish and stupid by cheating on my mother. My mom wants nothing to do with him now. My relationship with my dad is very strained, but I still love the man. It doesn't mean I approve of what he did, but there's nothing I can do about it. So I know about how you feel in a somewhat similar kind of way. Just keep your head held high, and like my signature says: "Give everything except up."

Posted on: 2013/4/10 19:52
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Give everything except up!
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
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I know how you feel. My mom is bipolar and a lot of times it is hard to be around her. She freaks out over the littlest things, is insecure, ignorant, arrogant, selfish, gets jealous way to easily, let's her emotions control her life and so on. This is why I refuse to drive if my mom is in the car. If she is in the car, she will constantly freak out, causing to get stressed out enough where I am literate crying. So yeah, I know how you feel.

My advice to you would be to let your mom work things out on her own, give her time to realize that she does need help and guidance to help her get better.

Posted on: 2013/4/10 21:18
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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Though from a much more abusive environment then your own, this was much the same issue with my own mother as I was growing up. At odds with everyone nearly all of the time.

My personal experience was that it was best to distance myself and, if possible, have the others away as much as possible.

Even into my my late teens and into 20s my mother (and step father) had issues with temper and finding confrontation with everyone.

Posted on: 2013/4/10 21:32
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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Greetings Sinistra San bows

I would agree with showing love and compassion to your Mother. Your sister must also do the same.

Between both of you,you need to find the cause of the problem. It will not be easy.

The bully that is ruling your Mother from within seems to be very strong. You just have to find a way of getting through. It may well be painful and you may not be thanked for doing it . You must carry it on to the end.

There is obviously something that is bothering your Mother. You will just have to find out what it is.

Bows

Posted on: 2013/4/11 0:43
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Yours in the spirit of Budo

Mike
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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Thank you for all the best advices! It's good to know even if almost everything turns against me(or it seems so), Jedi and the Force is always with me. It gives me strength even in the hardest times. I love you all.

[quote="JediShea"]My advice to you would be to let your mom work things out on her own, give her time to realize that she does need help and guidance to help her get better.[/quote]

It would be good solution if there wasn't my little sister... but since she is still a little girl(2,5 years old) who does not understand anything, she can be the most suffering subject of this case. I'm afraid it would be too late till she pull herself together and till that time she messes up her even more. Also my empathy doesn't let her making herself and others in even bigger troubles.


[quote="harvengure"]My personal experience was that it was best to distance myself and, if possible, have the others away as much as possible.[/quote]

Well, it seems I kinda like leaving myself in different troubles because I only can practice tolerance, patience and compassion if I get into difficult cases. But recently I have admitted that I constantly overburden myself so it can turn into some kind of self-turture. so yea, it expends all sources of my energy making me exhausted, so stopping and taking a rest would be the best solution. I will defininely try to be more far from her.

MikeBudo: I know exactly what bothers my mum. She always tells me but even if she doesn't, I also know. Unfortunately she has no willing to learn, rejects all help and even if she is whining all the time, she doesn't make anything in order to reduce her(and my sister's) suffering.

Posted on: 2013/4/12 12:51
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Re: Fellow Jedi, I would like to ask for some help.
Knight
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Personally, If your sister is that old, I hope that things work out in the end sooner than later. Young kids do not deserve to live in a bad situation like that. I will pray and meditate for you and your family that things work out for you. Don't give up hope just yet. I am sure something will come of it, and hopefully soon. If you need further help, do not hesitate to ask for it here in the temple.

*bows*

Posted on: 2013/4/12 20:53
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