Temple of the Jedi Force : How to deal with guilt trippers [Message Boards - General Discussions]
Temple of the Jedi Force : Jediism-The Religion of the Force





Login
Log in!
Login
Username:

Password:

Remember me



Lost Password?

Register now!

Random Views
Top view of the hood

Ceremonial Lightsabre Hilts
My first lightsaber.

Friends and Family
Keith Mewes

Do you know ?
That you can submit questions (and answers) to this FAQ system?


Login to use Live Chat

Who's Online
48 user(s) are online (2 user(s) are browsing Message Boards)

Members: 0
Guests: 48

more...

New Members Welcome!
Zachery93Z 2018/11/20
RefugiaVan 2018/11/20
Marcia6383 2018/11/19
AmeliaCost 2018/11/19
LyleLeahy 2018/11/19
KristineKi 2018/11/19
Nichole949 2018/11/19
JosephD38 2018/11/19
KattieMand 2018/11/18
ClevelandP 2018/11/18

Become a Jedi Knight, Jediism. Jedi, Religion, jedi religion, jedi knight, jedi clergy, jedi minister, Temple Of The Jedi Force, force religion, jedi master, force religion, force temple, jediism, jedi church, force church, temple of the jedi order, force religion, christianity, humanism, taoism, zen, zen buddhism, mysticism, martial arts, star wars




Ads


Browsing this Thread:   1 Anonymous Users





How to deal with guilt trippers
Knight
Joined:
2014/4/24 2:03
From Oslo
Group:
Registered Users
Apprentice
Jedi Consular
Knight
Promotions Committee
Message Board Moderator
Support Team
Spam Busters
Knight Marshall
Posts: 1986
Offline
Found a pretty neat article on the subject:

***

"7 Ways to Set Limits with Guilt Trippers

The best way to limit the damage guilt trips cause to our relationships is to set limits with the guilt inducer and ask them to change their habits. Here’s how:

Tell the person that you do understand how important it is for them that you do the thing they’re trying to guilt you into doing.

Explain that their using a guilt trip to make you conform to their wishes makes you feel resentful, even if you do end up complying.

Tell them you're concerned that accumulating these kinds of resentments can make you feel more distant from them and that is not something you or they wish.

Ask them to instead express their wishes directly, to own the request themselves instead of trying to activate your conscience, and to respect your decisions when you make them (e.g., “I would love it if you had another bowl of soup. No? No problem, here’s the brisket,” or, “It would mean a lot to me if you came to your niece’s confirmation but I’ll understand if your schedule doesn’t permit it.”).
Explain that you will often do what they ask if they ask more directly. Admit that you might not always conform to their wishes but point out the payoff—that when you do choose to respond positively, you would do so authentically and wholeheartedly, that you would feel good about doing so, and that you would even get more out of it.

Be prepared to have reminder discussions and to call them on future guilt trips when they happen (and they will).

Remember, it will take time for them to change such an engrained communication habit.

Be kind and patient throughout this process. Doing so will motivate them to make more of an effort to change than if you come at them with anger and resentment, legitimate though your feelings may be."

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/t ... -ways-get-out-guilt-trips

***

If anyone else has thoughts, advice or more material on the subject, don't hesitate to share :)

Posted on: 2016/12/9 17:14
_________________
***
Jedi name: Nira Morgan
***
Trained under: Master Ace Venom
***
Current apprentice(s):
* Amara (Amy)
* LoverofKnowledge (Leena)

***
Obi-Wan:(...) Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.
Qui-Gon Jinn: But not at the expense of
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer


Re: How to deal with guilt trippers
Master
Joined:
2006/9/24 19:51
From USA
Group:
Promotions Committee
Apprentice
Masters
Registered Users
Webmasters
Posts: 7904
Offline
Good article thanks!

Posted on: 2016/12/10 18:51
_________________
A Jedi uses the Force for nothing, and... for everything.
Click to see original Image in a new window
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer


Re: How to deal with guilt trippers
Apprentice
Joined:
2016/2/12 13:31
From USA
Group:
Registered Users
Initiates
Apprentice
Jedi Sentinel
Posts: 1170
Offline
This was almost comically relevant to me this week. This is an excellent and healthy strategy that's already helped me a bit - just have to remember to continue to enforce it!

Thanks for sharing it, Nira.

Posted on: 2016/12/10 21:52
_________________
"A fool is 'happy' when his cravings are satisfied. A warrior is happy without reason. That's what makes happiness the ultimate discipline - above all else."
Dan Millman, "The Peaceful Warrior"

Apprentice to: Nira
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer


Re: How to deal with guilt trippers
Knight
Joined:
2014/4/24 2:03
From Oslo
Group:
Registered Users
Apprentice
Jedi Consular
Knight
Promotions Committee
Message Board Moderator
Support Team
Spam Busters
Knight Marshall
Posts: 1986
Offline
No problem, lol.

That pesky or helpful (depending on how you look at it) synchronicity, eh? :D

Take care of yourself, Amy. And no, that doesn't mean simply remembering showers. That means treating yourself the way you would Julia. See your needs. Tend to your needs. Self-love, self-forgiveness, self-care. The full on package!

Be well :)

Posted on: 2016/12/11 15:46
_________________
***
Jedi name: Nira Morgan
***
Trained under: Master Ace Venom
***
Current apprentice(s):
* Amara (Amy)
* LoverofKnowledge (Leena)

***
Obi-Wan:(...) Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.
Qui-Gon Jinn: But not at the expense of
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer


Re: How to deal with guilt trippers
Knight
Joined:
2012/7/25 10:41
From Hungary
Group:
Knight
Registered Users
Jedi Consular
Apprentice
Disciples
Initiates
Posts: 673
Offline
Nice article!
It can be quite complicated with people who use guilt not out of good intention or simple principle but out of truely selfish purposes. The more attention, the more opportunity and hope for manipulation. For me, only ignoring them and not getting into their game worked on the long term.

Posted on: 2016/12/14 1:04
_________________
"Always remember: your focus determines your reality." - Qui-Gon Jinn
-------------
Apprentice: Spikecnx (LOA)
Transfer the post to other applications Transfer






You can view topic.
You cannot start a new topic.
You cannot reply to posts.
You cannot edit your posts.
You cannot delete your posts.
You cannot add new polls.
You cannot vote in polls.
You cannot attach files to posts.
You cannot post without approval.

[Advanced Search]