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How our focus determines our reality - Becoming Mentally Strong
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The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala

Everyone has the ability to build mental strength, but most people don't know how.
We spend a lot of time talking about physical strength and physical health, but much less time on mental strength and mental health.
We can choose to perform exercises that will help us learn to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and behave productively despite our circumstances - the 3 basic factors of mental strength. No matter what your goals are, building mental strength is the key to reaching your greatest potential.

Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist. Since 2002, she has been counseling children, teens, and adults. She also works as an adjunct psychology instructor.

Amy’s expertise in mental strength has attracted international attention. Her bestselling book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, is being translated into more than 20 languages.

Amy’s advice has been featured by a number of media outlets, including: Time, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, Business Insider, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Success, Glamour, Oprah.com, TheBlaze TV, and Fox News. She has also been a guest on dozens of radio shows.

She is a regular contributor to Forbes, Inc., and Psychology Today. She serves as About.com’s Parenting Teens Expert and Discipline Expert.

As a frequent keynote speaker, Amy loves to share the latest research on resilience and the best strategies for overcoming adversity and building mental muscle.

Posted on: 5/13 15:26
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Re: How our focus determines our reality - Becoming Mentally Strong
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Resilience... Something I still have learning to do with. Not that I have none, its just with everything that has happened of late I have lost my fortitude in dealing with things. I wish it wasn't so but life happens to us more often than not..

Posted on: 5/13 16:28
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Re: How our focus determines our reality - Becoming Mentally Strong
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It's interesting, actually, the theory on developing resilience. We've started working on that in school, and honestly I had some uncomfortable realizations in that regard. Very often what we are thought reminds me of my upbringing, for a lot of reasons. The check list for "people most likely to end up damaged" being one of them. Particularly since I couldn't really find the "protecting factors" being present in my life during my earlier years. So honestly, most about the challenges I ended up facing makes perfect sense in hindsight.

I might not have had many of the commonly thought as protecting factors, but I did have the love I felt for my siblings. It was definitely a deciding factor in shaping my resilience. Without it, I wouldn't have fought to reshape my life. And honestly, that cognitive therapy I did worked some serious miracles! I would recommend cognitive therapy to anyone, even more minor issues, as long as you could afford it and find a decent one that fit you. I am sure one can do a lot of the work on ones own, but for someone with a view as askewer as mine was, it can be almost impossible. It's like trying to repair a sinking boat with broken tools when you know you can't swim.

But I whole-heartedly agree that it can be trained. However, if one can always train it alone, I think that depends on several factors one cannot always control oneself. And hence why I don't believe in judging people too harshly, or even at all in most cases, for some of the things they do. Programming is a rough thing to overcome, particularly since the programming tends to protect itself through sabotaging the programmed in various ways. It's definitely a complicated matter.

I think in order to change ones programming, one must first be aware of said programming, and accepting of it. That may take some convincing in a lot of cases. We prefer to think of ourselves as "free-willed" and "making our own choices". To a certain degree, yes we do and are. However, there's subtle and not so subtle programming there that's been wrapping itself around the mental gears from we were toddlers. And that's the real challenge. Heck, I've done almost 2 years of cognitive therapy, studied this for almost equally long and done a LOT of work on myself to figure everything out, and there's still so much inner programming I find it hard to accept. But train we must. Whatever was, doesn't determine what will be, but all we can do is work in the now, with the awareness of the past to guide us should we require it to understand the present. The human mind is such a darn complicated bit of machinery, and that's not even taking in account the spirit.

So I suppose a summary to my babbling is that yes, I definitely believe we can train our mental strength :) I do recognize how harsh and exhausting the process can be though, and as much as I bow to those who are constant at work on it (including myself); I feel for them as well, because more often than not they are sitting in a cold boat-house while staring into a carnival mirror showing them upside-down instructions while their hammer-head keeps falling off the shaft and their nails breaking at the middle. Guess I believe in lessons and hugs equally in these cases, lol.

Posted on: 5/14 20:43
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Obi-Wan:(...) Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.
Qui-Gon Jinn: But not at the expense of
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Re: How our focus determines our reality - Becoming Mentally Strong
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I like the approach she outlines which reminds me of something that happened when I went to the dentist for a regular cleaning. He said the best approach when you discover bleeding or soreness in an area in the gums is to dig deep and make sure you get out any signs of an infection, that way the body can heal the area. He said most people shy away from the area in hopes that it will heal on its own or wait and let the dentist deal with it.

Mental health is the same way. Whatever the problem it's important not to avoid it but to dig deep into it and apply the needed energy to correct the situation and find acceptance and peace in troubled areas of our mental health. By looking deeply into it and removing any negative energy associated with the memories, healing can happen.

One thing I heard in another video I will post here, is a therapist who learned to ask the people she worked with, "What does the light at the end of the tunnel look like?" She said so many people were so lost in their problems that they had ceased to even think about focusing on possible solutions. Her question helped them to work towards a positive outcome.


Posted on: 5/15 9:47
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