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Universal Day of the Jedi
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Universal Day of the Jedi
May 25th


http://www.dayofthejedi.com/index.html

You have got to check this out, way to cool.

Lea

Posted on: 2008/4/29 19:15
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi
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15 Reasons Why Jedi Knights Are Better than Pirates and Ninjas

There are too many pirates and ninjas roaming the Interwebs for my liking, so with Universal Day of the Jedi on its way for May 25, it makes sense to examine specifically why Jedi Knights pwn both Ninjas and Pirates.



A Jedi Knight just has to think of disarming a Ninja and he's screwed... 1. Ninjas and Pirates have to at least break a sweat to disarm each other. A Jedi Knight just has to think it and you're screwed.

2. Ninjas may use stealth, but Jedi Knights can use the Force to make you freakin' forget they were even there. In fact, with just a wave of a Jedi's hand, you might end up finding yourself rocking back and forth outside a 7-11 while drooling profusely.

3. Seriously, can you name a ninja or pirate that is able to take out Sith Lord like Darth Maul, or a giant beast like the Rancor? I didn't think so...

4. A sword used by a Pirate or a Ninja can be broken. Try and break a lightsaber. Go on, biatch, try it.

5. Dress someone in a pirate or ninja suit and they look like they're in costume. Hand someone a lightsaber, and a cloak, and they look bad-ass.

Janitors love Jedi Knights6. Janitors prefer Jedi Knights because the lightsaber cauterizes wounds. That means less clean up than what's left over after a ninja and pirate go at it like a pair of retarded spider monkeys.

7. Thousands of people around the world have identified their religion as "Jedi" in international censuses. Nobody has identified their religion as pirate or ninja, because the pirates were too hung-over and the ninjas couldn�t find the way out of their pajamas.

8. Jedi Knights can rub their eyes without poking them out, whereas a Pirate can not.

9. Jedi Knights have incredibly visual names like "Skywalker". Pirates have sissy names like "Sparrow".

No chance of stealth. You FAIL 10. A ninja may try to sneak up on a Jedi, but a Jedi Knight can sense danger through the Force. A Ninja doesn't have a chance of using stealth.

11. Despite the talk of wookiees, durasteel, and midichlorians, you still have a better chance of understanding what a Jedi says, than what a Pirate says with all those ridiculous "arrr"'s...

12. Jedi Knights have Lightsabers. Period.

Yoda13. How many ninjas and pirates do you know of that achieve immortality in the form of ghostly spirits? That's right, not only can Yoda kick your sorry ass, he can also haunt your sorry ass for the rest of your life.

14. If a Jedi loses a limb, they get a robotic replacement. Pirates just get a wooden stump that somebody ripped off from a rocking chair. The last ninja who lost a limb is still stuck in the tree he was hiding in because he can't climb down.

15. Some might argue that Pirates get the wenches; but people forget that there can be some 'creative' uses for a "Jedi Mind Trick". You really don't think Yoda reached 900 years of age without getting lucky, right?

Posted on: 2008/4/29 19:16
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi
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Top 10 Sexually Suggestive Lines in
the Original Star Wars Trilogy


Star Wars / A New Hope

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE - UNIVERSAL DAY OF THE JEDI: MAY 25 10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."



The Empire Strikes Back

STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - UNIVERSAL DAY OF THE JEDI: MAY 25 10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"



Return of the Jedi

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI - UNIVERSAL DAY OF THE JEDI: MAY 25 10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me."
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise, my friend."


But of course, one of the best is - "Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

And another bonus:

Vader: "My son is with them."
Emperor: "Are you sure?"
Vader: "I have... felt him... my master"
Emperor: "...strange that I have not..."



May the Force be with you!

Posted on: 2008/4/29 19:18
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi
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That is way to funny, Lea...Thanks.

JGD

Posted on: 2008/4/29 19:42
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi
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i have a version of this somewhere from my student days (15years old now) it may even be the same, but i didnt post it as I thought i may get a slapped wrist for it

trust Lea to post it

I like the ninja pirate one tho

Posted on: 2008/4/30 4:22
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi
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Ya, I thought about that but decided it was worth the risk since it was so funny. LOL

Lea

Posted on: 2008/4/30 7:09
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May 25th is also Nerd Day in Spain, and Towel Day for many Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fans. Though Spain's "Nerd Day" does come from the fact that both Star Wars (ANH) and Return of the Jedi were released on the 25th of May.

Ideally, I'd consider May the Jedi Holy Month, as all 6 Star Wars films have been released within that month. XD

Anyway... I've stated many times elsewhere, that the progression goes Jedi > Ninja > Pirates.

The 15 Reasons thing is a bit much, though - ninjas can kill pirates without breaking a sweat. First, they infiltrate the ship and pretend to be part of the crew. Next, they can either slit the crew's throats in their sleep, or poison their rum and kill them slowly while the ninja drinks from his own supply of sake.

However, as the 15 Reasons DO state, a Jedi would see it coming and probably be prepared. For one thing, a Jedi could probably survive purely on the Force - no food, no water - for an elapsed period of time. It would be a specialized skill only a few knew, but I'm sure it's not completely forgotten (check the Holocrons, I guess). For another, a Jedi would probably sense danger if a ninja was about to sneak up from behind them and jab 'em in the back with a poison-tipped dagger.

For me, at least, it's not an issue of "who's better?" - I'd go with Jedi, obviously, but the question itself is purely of practicality. The Jedi are more prepared than Boy Scouts, and their attunement to the Force (with exception of times they are caught off-guard*) gives them a sight into the near future which displays itself in a way that SEEMS like they have ridiculously quick reflexes.

*Such exceptions include when Qui-Gon was whacked in the face by Darth Maul, giving Maul the chance to run him through with his saber; when Mace Windu was betrayed by Anakin and fried by Darth Sidious; Order 66, when the Clone Troopers unexpectedly turned on many of the unsuspecting Jedi; and the battle on Mustafar when Anakin overestimated his power and tried to jump over Obi-Wan, where he was subsequently de-limbed.

I like pirates, I really do - for all intents and purposes, they're like the ninjas of the sea, sneaking up on larger ships (they seriously can move around in a very small ship, as long as it's fast), springing out and taking it. But nevertheless, a ninja would probably win due to stealth (which is why samurai hate and detest ninjas). And unfortunately for both, a Jedi would inevitably win due to skills in the Force, and a lightsaber.

Posted on: 2008/4/30 18:38
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi
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Xiam,
That nearly took all the humor out of Lea's post.

JGD

Posted on: 2008/4/30 20:01
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Re: Universal Day of the Jedi

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Quote:

Jedi Grayson Dark wrote:
Xiam,
That nearly took all the humor out of Lea's post.

JGD

Sorry, couldn't help myself... XD

Accuracy still allows space for jokes, though. Wish I added more...

Posted on: 2008/5/2 10:47
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